Tell me how you care for your skin, and win $50!!

Oh yeah, it's another sponsored post and giveaway. I'm on a roll with these!  They are pretty fun, and I get to try stuff and give my honest opinion and give something away to you guys. 

I received a bottle of Olay® Total Effects Tone Correcting UV Moisturizer to try and review. I was pretty skeptical because I have skin like a freak of nature. I get dry and peely really easily, and my cheeks turn bright red if I use a product that doesn't agree with me. 

Quite honestly, this review would be a lot more amusing if my skin went bat-shit crazy while using this stuff. Sadly, it did not. I actually really liked it a lot!

My skin is crappy, as previously discussed. I have giant pores on my nose and T-zone, and I have a big ugly sun spot on my right cheek. I'm starting to notice the dreaded fine lines around and between my eyes. I have zero skin-care routine, so when this Olay opportunity came up I was all over it. This product is supposed to help minimize spots and fight the appearance of discoloration, while also combating the seven signs of aging. 

So let me tell you what I really think about this product, and then I'll tell you how you can enter for a chance to win a $50 Visa Gift Card.

I'll go over the seven signs of aging and review the product based on each sign (I've combined a few of the signs).

Line Minimization: I can't say that I've noticed a big change in the appearance of my fine lines. I've been using the product everyday for about two weeks, so it might just take more time. Sometimes I notice that I have breakfast Nutella on my face at around noon, so I might not be doing a close enough inspection. 

Nourishing Moisturization & Dryness Defense: I am really picky about moisturizer because my skin is dry in places and oily in others. I really like this product for moisturizing! I don't know that it would work for me during the brutal winter months, but for spring and summer it would be perfect. It made my skin soft without making it oily, as some other anti-aging products have done.

Tone Enhancement: I've never used a tinted moisturizer before. I usually moisturize and then use a foundation. I worried that the color would look blotchy over my dry skin, and that the combination of a tinted moisturizer with foundation would make my skin look too dark. This went on really smooth and I do feel like my skin looked a bit more even after I used the moisturizer with foundation on top.

Gentle Exfoliation & Eye Puffiness Reduction: Meh. I didn't notice any sort of exfoliation. And my eyes definitely do not look less puffy. However, I am hugely pregnant and puffy all over the place. So perhaps I should reduce my salt intake and stop blaming this face lotion for not making my eyes look less puffy?

Free Radical Defense: This stuff has an SPF of 15, which is what I like. It does smell like sunscreen at first, which isn't my favorite, but the scent faded as it dried. So ... that's what I think about Olay Total Effects Tone Correcting UV Moisturizer. I like it and would buy it, especially for the warm spring/summer months when I need a lighter moisturizer.  

Now the good stuff: How to enter for a chance to win a $50 Visa Gift Card! Just leave a comment telling me about your skincare routine. How do you care for your skin? What products do you like for cleansing and moisturizing?   

Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to U.S. Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by email. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 4/9 - 5/16

Be sure to visit the Olay TE page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers' reviews and find more chances to win! While we're on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the "Looking Your Best" posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

I was compensated and provided free product for this post.  The opinions expressed herein are my own.

Easter Bunny Made A Mess!

That's what Olivia said as she saw the path of eggs left by the Easter Bunny.  She may look like her mom but she's getting a cleanliness complex like her dad.

I was surprised by how much Olivia understood the difference between her basket and Ainsley's basket.  I was afraid she would want all of the toys to herself but she was actually really excited to give them to Ainsley.

Stupid Potterybarn with their Stupid Cute Expensive Baskets and Stupid Cute Liners.
Also, Stupid Pillow Pets.



Ainsley had a very encouraging few days on a Portable Ventilator - you know, the kind that can be used at home but are not called home ventilators - but when we walked in to the hospital today it was just very clear to me that she was feeling terrible.  However, she was such a trooper and played with Olivia and laughed and smiled for a few pics - you know, before she went directly down the respiratory shitter.

Ainsley finds Easter to be very amusing.
However, this portable vent can suck it, I guess.

I would like to note that my 15 month old former preemie is wearing a 12-18 month dress that could not be buttoned up the back.  It was wide open like a V.  And people wonder why I want to call her a meatloaf??  She smiles so big her cheeks make her eyes squinty!  I love it.  My little side of beef...the opposite of my teeny little Olivia, who I fear may blow away in a strong wind and who could probably rock that very 12-18 month dress as an adorable tunic with leggings.



Olivia: Look at this balls for ya!
Ainsley: OK, and also I can't breathe but yay Easter!

Olivia loves to go see Ainsley, and Ainsley seems to be mesmerized by Olivia.  They get along pretty well.  I hope that it carries over to the days when we eventually all live under the same roof with two ridiculous dogs and another little lady Knepper.



Best of, like, 300 attempts at a family shot.
Olivia acts like being photographed is corporal punishment.



Age 3 is still an appropriate age for me parents to eat all of the candy from the plastic eggs, right?  You know, only so Olivia doesn't get a belly ache.

--

One Year Ago:  Ninety Nine
Two Years Ago:  Should Have Purchased Three Sets of Ears
Three Years Ago:  Mister Yuck, Look Out!
Four Years Ago:  The Longest Post In The History of Infertile Whining

NICU Graduate

Just not the way that we hoped!

Much like George and Weezy, we have moved on up to a de-luxe apartment in the sky.  And by that I mean that we moved up two floors in the same hospital.  From NICU to PICU.*

Around the end of February, we started thinking about moving to PICU.  Because at 14 months old, Ainsley was obviously not a newborn anymore.   She is a toddler - a toddler who doesn't toddle, but still.  Does this giant meatloaf look like a newborn to you?

Gettin a toof.

So the thought was that, maybe, she should be in the PICU where 14 month old residents are the norm, and not the depressing exception.  Where there are lots of bigger kids on ventilators.  And so we asked to be moved and apparently that is a big deal like, whoa.   Apparently?  There is no way to say to this group of people who have kept your super sick kid alive for the past 14 months that you want to take your critical illness elsewhere, without feeling like somewhat of an ungrateful douche.

This giant meatloaf rolls over now.

The scariest part of the move was getting to know all new nurses and staff.  For us and for Ainsley.  Ainsley can be a bit of a snob if she doesn't know you.  Everyone in the NICU knew that you had to make friends with Ainsley before you approached her.  And almost everyone in the NICU made friends with Ainsley because she is a giant attention whore and would perform for anyone willing to watch.

Ainsley's de-luxe apartment in the sky.

Surprisingly, the move went really well.  Ainsley didn't mind the change in scenery at all, and has made fast friends with lots of PICU people.  Her room is right across from a break room where people come and go all day, and she spends the entire day shaking her head no, dancing, and smiling at people to get attention.  She's got some new, fabulous primary nurses, and her NICU friends come to visit her all the time.

Big Room = Big Sister Dance Party

It has been interesting to watch the new doctors get to know Ainsley.  The first few days were a bit rough but overall necessary.  A few aggressive changes were made, and in typical Ainsley fashion, the bottom fell out after a few days.  Ainsley will try her best - she will chug along for days doing something that she doesn't like, and then all of a sudden she will stop doing it. 

For example: breathing.

Within the first week, the PICU people were introduced to my ugly cry and Ainsley's drama.  I was joking that it would be so satisfying for a NICU doctor to stand off in a corner and say, "SEE?!  See what we were dealing with?  HA!"  This child does not tolerate fast change.  Lesson learned.

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

But Ainsley won back her (super, ridiculously, insane) high ventilator settings and was her cheerful self in a few days.  And by cheerful, I mean ZOMG HAPPY!  She is such a happy and silly toddler, who doesn't toddle.  She's 15.5 months old and aside from not being able to breathe on her own, like, at all?  She is fantastic.

The cuteness.

We are hopeful that someday we will get her home.  But today is not that day.  Not tomorrow, either, or the next day.  But hey!  We have a super fun baybee so things could be a lot worse.

*I may have been in a hospital for too long, but I was surprised by the number of people who asked me what the difference between NICU and PICU is.  NICU is Neonatal Intensive Care Unit - for wittle newborn baybees.  PICU is Pediatric Intensive Care Unit - for kids of all ages, big giant teenagers included.

Perhaps I should bathe more often?

Our office moved to a new building...oh, 5 years ago? Maybe even 6. I don't even know what happened 17 minutes ago, so this is my best estimate: 5 or 6 or whatever years ago, our office moved to a new building.

Every spring, these trees bloom all over outside of the building.  They are all around the building.  Aren't they pretty?

Looks pretty.
Is lying whore.

And they are pretty, but they smell like cat pee.  Like burning cat pee, actually.  Like pee from a cat on fire.  Or, pee from a cat with a urinary tract infection.  Or, pee from a cat with an STD...a naughty little kitty (or maybe an unfortunate virgin kitty who failed to use the proper protection?). 

Anyway, every year these pretty but skanky trees bloom and every year, for five or six or whatever years?  I mean, every.single.year. without fail, I walk out of the building on the first nice, sunny day and immediately smell the burning cat pee and I think it is me.  Every year.  I get as far as doing the covert armpit sniff - like, hey, let me casually brush my hair out of my eye while looking to the side and breathing in a fresh breath of burning cat pee.

And then I smell the sweet smell of Secret Shower Fresh and realize that, alas, I have been tricked by a motherfucking tree.  Again.  Am clean but stupid.

I'm not sure why I would smell burning cat pee and automatically assume that I am the offender.  I bathe, I swear.  Regularly, even.  I'm thinking I should bathe more just in case I smell like Cat Pee STD though. 

If I start thinking that the smell of the fresh mulch is me, I am going to do a full sink bath every time I wash my hands in the office restroom.  Because my psyche is too delicate to handle the stress of thinking I smell like fresh cow shit.


Three Parties for the Three Year Old

Yeah, we had three "parties" for Olivia this year, at our house, because I thought it would be easier than having one big party somewhere else.

Sometimes I experience these ridiculous delusions of grandeur that lead me to believe that I am some kind of magical crafty supermom capable of throwing a birthday party that will cause some other mom browsing Pinterest to have an instant orgasm (Pingasm?) at the thought of stealing my food and decor ideas for her own.

Except that I stole my ideas from someone else and plus I suck at crafts and everything else and preparing food stresses me out and also? Is expensive and ALSO?!  I have to clean it up myself. 

Am idiot.

First, we had a cake on her actual birthday.  Presents from one of her grandmas and all the ice cream cake she could shove in her carb hole.  Which is, like, pretty much an entire cake.

Then, the following weekend, we had a family party on Saturday and a friends party on Sunday.  I thought this would be easy because I would only have to decorate once and then I could just get all of the food ready on Friday and then put it out on the correct day.

Ha.

Ha ha.

Bwahahahahahaha.

Pretty much what happened is that I was running around like an idiot trying to prepare a ton of food that could only fit into my fridge if positioned exactly so, like some kind of refrigerator jigsaw puzzle.  I made cupcakes!  And a chili bar!  And baked potatoes!  Hot dogs!  Nachos!  It was quite delicious, actually.  But not any easier or cheaper than having a party somewhere where they get everything ready and you just show up.

Pinterest threw up all over my house.

 Then, on Sunday, we had a friend party.  That one was pretty easy since everything was decorated and I ordered the cake and cupcakes and some of the food.  

Cake and Cupcakes by Becky Klein,
Sweets and Stems

No real plan except to let a bunch of kids run around and do whatever while I got some much-needed grown up conversation and drank almost an entire bowl of punch by myself.

Presents and cake and tattoos, oh my!

I didn't take a picture of the punch, as previously discussed I was too busy trying to drink the entire bowl before anyone else could have some.  But I made a double batch for this party and for a baby shower and the bowl was completely empty both times.  SO GOOD!

Orange Dream Punch (from AllRecipes.com)

Ingredients


1/2 gallon orange sherbet
1 (6 ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate
1 (2 liter) bottle ginger ale

Directions

Place sherbet and frozen orange juice concentrate in a punch bowl. Allow to thaw for 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in ginger ale.

I doubled this recipe, but used 1/2 gallon of orange sherbet and 1/2 gallon of vanilla ice cream because a bunch of comments recommended it.  YUM YUM YUM.  Just make sure that, if you're doing the original recipe, that you only used half of the can of orange juice - those cans are 12 ounces.
 
 
So, anyway, next year I'll be paying someone to show up, party, and leave.  I blame Pinterest for making me feel like I have to throw some kind of magical home made party or I don't love my kid. 

Six years...

Mark and Jen Knepper:
Dodging Shitstorms since 3-18-06
(photo by Noble Images)

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Three

Only...oh, almost a month ago at this point, Olivia turned three.


February 2012
Oh yes.  She is definitely saying, "cheese!!!!!!" and hording 5 princesses.



Only, oh, almost a year and a month ago at this point, Olivia turned two.  It is so annoying when you have a new baby and people say the standard, "enjoy it, it goes so fast!" But really.  It does.  It goes really fast.



February 2011
How is she three?  This pic of my two year old feels like days ago.



My little girl turned into a big girl.  It wasn't over night but it was close.  One day she was putting a few words together, and then the next week she was having full conversations about her day.  Funny conversations that make partial sense but also have some serious exaggerations.






March 2011
Side pony tail and improperly buckled car seat.  Lets go to target!!!!
(I do seriously fix the buckle...gotta catch the cute as it happens though!)



I have a scar under my nose. You know those two lines under your nose? It kind of looks like I have a third one. I was sitting on the floor with Olivia a few weeks ago and she noticed my scar.

Olivia: Hey! You need a tissue? I get one for ya...

Me: No...that's a scar!

Olivia: Scarf?

Me: Scar. I had a really bad boo boo when I was little and it left a mark on my face. A scar.

Olivia: You got a scarf when you little?

Me: I did!
Olivia: How you do that?

Me: I hit my face on the corner of a table at Grandma Lori's house when I was a little girl.

Olivia: (scratches her head) Oh. That doesn't sound good.

April 2011
She didn't care who brought the basket treats for Easter last year.
This year, I told her about the bunny who fills her basket.
She looked at me like, bitch, are you crazy?

Much like every other three year old in the universe, she is in an independent phase.   "I will just get some M&Ms ALL BY MYSELF REAL QUICK."  Or, she will help with whatever we are doing.  Everything takes double the time with her help but it's cute so how can you care, ya know?



May 2011
What is it with bubbles?



Olivia is an iPhone junkie.  She can unlock, find the app she wants, and start it up.  Our Netflix app has been a lifesaver with everything going on because Olivia can watch pretty much any movie she wants.  Sometimes she watches Family Guy which is OK because it's a cartoon.  Right?




June 2011
Washing the dishes.

  So far we have avoided any swear words.  The worst that she says is, "what da heck?!" which I will not ever correct because the cuteness, obviously.  She says a lot of things that aren't funny to anyone but us and aren't really funny anyway.  They're just cute because they're things she hears us say.  "I'm just gonna do this real quick."  Or, "I just wanna watch this show for ooooone two seconds." 


July 2011
There is pretty much a 100% chance we will raise a gaggle of weirdos.



One of my very favorite things is her bedtime routine.  She loves to read stories, but first she has to get all of her 500 bed toys organized and be tucked in properly.  We've read a Tangled story so much that if we stop mid-sentence, she will finish.  After the story, Mark and I kiss her and hug her at the same time.  "Kiss togever!  Big hug togever!"  We tell her we love her and to have a good rest.  When she wakes up in the morning, she says, "I had a good rest."



August 2011
So far, she is the only baby to occupy Ainsley's crib.



Potty training is going....OK.  We had to force the issue after I went to tour preschools and they were all casually like, "yeah, your giant 3 year old has to be potty trained you inadequate piece of parenting disappointment."  So she's mostly potty trained.  She pees well on the potty but has decided that pooping on the potty is the goddamned devil and holds it for days until she drops the deuce of a hung-over 40 year old man.  But we have until September to get it on lockdown and also whatever.  Maybe she will wear diapers in college for pooping.  At this point I'm ok with that.



September 2011
LOVES her sister.

Most nights consist of a dance party/shark attack on mommy and daddy's bed.  She loves to listen to music (mookzik) and dance on the bed.  Lately she has been forcing the dogs to come up with her so that she can call them sharks and push Mark off the bed-boat to his certain sharky death. 


October 2011
Trick or treat, give me candy now please.

 We went to her 3 year well visit and were scolded like school children about Olivia's eating habits.  Does she get fruits and veggies?  No?  Get on it, idiots.  This kid will gag from the tips of her toes when presented with a vegetable or non-apple/banana/watermelon fruit.  Unless it is chips or candy she feels like we can pretty much shove it up our asses. 



November 2011
Olivia, Mark, Ainsley, Ainsley's Tubing, New Knepper Bump, and Jen.



I think that Olivia will be a great big sister.  She is very concerned about Ainsley - is she tired? Did she poop?  She stinks!  She needs a baff!  Is she crying? When one of us leaves to go to the hospital she always wants to come.  We don't bring her much because all 4 of us make for a very crowded room.  

And she loves new sister, too.  She pats my belly and asks if she is asleep and says, "I wuv her."  She also says she has a baby in her belly.  If she does have a baby in her belly, it's a carb-candy baby.



December 2011
Cute Christmas Pic.
Baxter is always creepin.



She has a love/hate relationship with her dogs, Baxter and Milo.  Sometimes she screams at them for looking at her toys.  Sometimes, she scolds me for screaming at the dogs.  "Dey jus sniffin mah blankie, MOM."  Yes, she calls me mom, with a long drawn out O sound.  Moooooom.  She is indifferent about Baxter but she generally loves poor Milo.  Loves, hugs, chases, tortures Milo.  She calls him buddy.

Critical to the survival of every day are her "wittle goals." A bunch of Strawberry Shortcake dolls and some Little People make up the little girls hoard stash. All the Shortcake dolls she calls her strawberries. The Little People have names - Lisa and Eena. Not sure where she came up with those!



January 2012
Not a fan of sitting still!



Twice, when I've made her mad, she called me Mother Gothel.  Or, Musser Gossel.  Mother Gothel is the mean old bitch who stole Rapunzel from her parents and forced her to live in a tower so that her hair could provide everlasting youth.  Sounds about right, don't you think?



February 2012

Loves:

Disney Princesses (Rapunzel/Tangled)

Her dog Milo (Her dog Baxter...not so much.)

Jumping on the Bed

Singing and Dancing

Chocolate

Playing Outside

Slides

Forts/Tents

Listening to Mookzik

Hates:

Vegetables

Pooping on the Potty (HATES!)

Olivia right now is such a sweet little person.  She is a bit sensitive but independent.  Mostly outgoing but occasionally shy.  She is so so so funny, and smart.  She calls our bluff on almost everything.  I really don't think that we would have survived the past year without Olivia keeping us laughing all the time.  

Worth every jealous moment, every injection, every frustrating month of waiting, every awkward doctor and vag cam appointment.  Totally worth it. 

--

One Year Ago:  Two

Two Years Ago: Valentine's Day is Cancelled!

Three Years Ago:  Olivia Audrey Knepper

Four Years Ago:  Happy Valentine's Day! I Got My Period!

eHarmony Sweepstakes Reminder!

Don't forget to enter to win a $100 gift card, courtesy of eHarmony!  Click here for the rules and details!

I am currently drowning in party planning details and plan (hope?!) to have blogging time soon. 

Some of you will be proud - I even called a lady out for being rude about how Shockingly Youge I Am. 

Some of you will think I'm an asshole.  That's bound to happen anyway.

One, Adjusted.

It's one year since Ainsley's due date.

We knew we'd never make it to her due date. It was a scary pregnancy to begin with - Identical Twins. I remember my first visit with the high risk doctor. I was just about 21 weeks and was in the beginning of All The Drama. He looked me in the eye, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "Identical Twins...scary."

Scary!

And I already knew because I have my official Google MD.

Ainsley was always small. Around the halfway point of my pregnancy the disparity in growth between Ainsley and Evelyn started. It was as much as 30% by 26 weeks. We saw a specialist who said it was not twin-to-twin transfusion but I still have my doubts.

At 26 weeks we started talking Delivery and Survival. It was a delicate balance between saving Ainsley by delivering Evelyn before she was ready.

That's a 26 Week Twin Belly, right there.

Somehow Ainsley held on until 31 weeks...almost 32. And somehow Evelyn held on too. She looked perfect but sadly she was very ill and nobody knew. My blood pressure was dangerously high and I was spilling tons of protein - preeclampsia was working against the girls along with everything else. This pregnancy was getting dangerous for all of us.

The night before my scheduled c-section is when Evelyn died. She was there and then poof! She was gone. Fetomaternal hemorrhage. Slow for a long time, apparent because of her severe anemia. And then very fast that night. Cardiac arrest, officially.

This is Evelyn Cecille.
She was tiny and perfect.

Ainsley was so small and she cried but did not make noise. Grimace, pissed, but alive. Later we would learn that her tongue was stuck in her cleft palate keeping her from making noise. She was 2 pounds 3 ounces...measuring more like a 27 week baby than an almost 32 week baby.


Ainsley, not on any sort of respiratory support.
Weird to see her without a trach, actually!


The rest is history, isn't it? We are creeping up on 14 months in the NICU. Ainsley's lungs continue to be generally assholey.


Functional lungs are overrated!!


It is busy and stressful. But we are adjusted.

What I want everyone to know about Ainsley is that you cannot spend time with her without smiling. One peek at that gap-tooth smile and you're a goner.

If this doesn't make you laugh then something is seriously wrong with you.

Most everyone we know has not met Ainsley or spent much time with her. But I know many, many nurses and therapists and doctors who pay a purely social visit to Ainsley daily just to get a peek of her ridiculously adorable smile. People will stop us in the hallway and tell us, "Ainsley smiled at me today!" Other parents even stop by to say hello.


Waiting to go outside.

 I've seen for myself the constant stream of visitors. Ainsley is a huge attention whore and eats it right up. It is a huge comfort to me because I am at work all day during the week. Turns out? NICU stays are expensive. And I have good insurance. We are raising a multimillion dollar baby and my job is what is keeping us from being bankrupt with medical bills.


Oscars Outfit.


I added our claims up for a six week period once. Out of curiosity. It was a boring six weeks with no surgeries or any special procedures. It was $322,000. We've been there...60 weeks? So ten times that, roughly? Millions.

She loves her mommy.

My point is not to make people feel bad about money. My point is that we have been so lucky to have a big group of people fall in love with our Ainsley and keep her company during our long, necessary workdays.

She loves her daddy, too.

Ainsley does so many things that surprise me. She rolls and grasps and plays and claps. This kid? Belly laughs. She throws temper tantrums. She has stranger danger and she has clear preferences in caregivers. She throws her toys and she pulls on her pulse oximiter while watching the monitor because she knows it will go off. She can sit up for hours. She loves her stander.



She can't talk because of her trach, but I do believe she is saying,
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


 Ainsley is not the typical one year old. She is better. She has had multiple surgeries and infections and challenges, but she laughs and smiles and plays and is one of the happiest babies I know.

Oh, hai.

Everyone loves Ainsley, but we love her the most.  I don't know how much longer we will be doing this hospital craziness but...meh.  We're adjusted to this now.

--

psst...Don't forget to enter the eHarmony Sweepstakes for a chance to win $100!