Or Geese?

A little over two years ago, while I was pregnant with Olivia, my coworker was also pregnant.  She was six weeks behind me then.  I had my baby in February, she had hers in April.  Our maternity leaves overlapped by about a month.

I don't mean to over exaggerate our importance, but what we came back to was a textbook cluster fuck.  We are the only two people who do our job, and while there are people employed by our company to cover for exactly this type of situation?  Still.  Clusterfuckery to the greatest degree.

So after that it was a big joke, like, "oh what if we got pregnant at the same time again hahahahahahaha."  And then everyone was always all, "oh yeah hahahahaha don't." 

Um.

She's due 1/20/11; I'm due 2/24/11 with twins, which may as well be 1/20/11.

So then after much evil belly laughing and hand-wringing, we had to tell work about The Situation.

Nooooo!  Not THAT Situation!*

THIS SITUATION:

Hai, am pregnant with twins

and totally messing up your company.

This is pretty much how my abs look, too.

(I have to thank my friend, Lynn, not only for her amazing photo shop work, but also for still being friends with me after Olivia shat on her floor.)


We went around the office and told everyone about our collective Situation.  It was mostly uneventful, except when we told The Office Old Guy.  You remember?  The guy who told me that walking to the copier would help me lose my baby weight?  And who asked why I was eating my lunch at 10:55?  AND who comments on every single thing that I eat to the point where I had to tell him to shut his old wrinkly yapper?

The Old Office Guy did manage to give the appropriate smile and congratulations.  Then we told him our due dates, and he had a question. 

"What do you guys do?  Get together and have orgies or something?"

Except he pronounced orgies like OR-GEESE.

I would go on about the horror of the situation (red faces, hysterical laughter, uncomfortable exits ensued) but really, I'm sure you can imagine.
So yeah.  It's in the water in the office we share.  Or maybe it was my fertility drugs and following Frozen Embryo Transfer Yay Science.  One can never tell.

*OK seriously, who will confess to watching Jersey Shore?  I can't help it.  I love those dysfunctional dumbasses.  GTL, BABY!**

**OK, so my GTL is less Gym, Tan, Laundry and more Gestational Beetus, Taco Bell, and Lazy Whore.  But still.

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One Year Ago:  Talking is Hard.  Making Baby Food is Not
Two Years Ago: Gone Gay For Belly Bands (Or: Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have A Fetus!)