Things are going just fine here at the Knepper household. The Great Jaundice Saga has ended, thanks to an endless supply of OMG THE NEWBORN POOPING NEVER STOPS! Big sister loves little sister. I am off the percocet and feeling good on just Motrin - quite honestly motivated by the beautiful beers calling to me from my fridge which I cannot drink while taking percocet.
My most serious concern is what is going on with a stuffed monkey.
We got a really adorable basket of baby goodies with a monkey theme that included a stuffed monkey. Olivia has been obsessed with giving this monkey to Adelle all.the.time. and so it is wherever Adelle is. I've had to wake Adelle to eat every three hours through the night so that she would poop out this stupid bilirubin. And so I'm pretty tired and when I'm tired I'm more weird than usual so when I looked down and saw the monkey in the pack and play at about 4 a.m. all I could think was Holy Monkey Penis.
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| What else is there to do at 4 a.m. but photograph stuffed animals in questionable positions? |
I'll tell you what you don't want to do at 4 a.m. You do not want to wake up to the HBO that you left on when you fell asleep watching a True Blood marathon because do you know what they play on HBO at 4 a.m.? Let me tell you, it is a dirty dirty sexathon or something on HBO at 4 a.m.
So that was last night. And then today we were in Adelle's room and I notice this happening in her crib:
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| MONKEY PENIS! AGAIN! |
I figured that Mark must have done this twice on purpose to make me laugh. He says that he did not. That he just moved it and sat it down and it ended up like that and he didn't even notice. Which makes me sound like a total perv for looking at an innocent stuffed monkey and seeing that it is all, "tah dah!" about its penis when in reality it is just a monkey sitting in a pack and play/crib.
I'm tired. And possibly demented.
The good news is that I don't have to wake the new Knepper to feed her every three hours, so perhaps I will be more well rested and less likely to see monkey penis? Perhaps?
15 comments:
So glad to hear all is well- and the monkey penis is hilarious!
The baby is only a few days old and you've already got penis on the brain? Wow. I think that is a record :)
I had my daughter the day after you did and I found myself watching reruns of Wings on Netflix at 4am. It was more depressing than soft core porn. And I didnt even get monkey penis.
My daughter was learning picture flash cards and she loved this one set--one of them was "baby" and we figured out that she was saying "poop" and if you look at it fast, the baby's back foot does look like poop. Fortunately, when you go to amazon.com and "look inside" this set of flashcards--the third one it shows is said baby if you zoom out you can see the offending foot. Not as good as the monkey penis but we've been there with pooping baby flash card at my house.
http://www.amazon.com/First-Touch-Feel-Picture-Cards/dp/0756615186/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339293043&sr=1-5&keywords=dk+flash+cards
HBO and Skin-e-mex, yikes! I bet it woke you up a little more!!!! ;o)
it definitely look like monkey weiner and i'm not even sleep deprived.
is new baby home with you guys already? how nice!
Pretty sure you will now not be able to unsee the monkey penis. Glad to hear things are going well with the new Knepper.
I see monkey penis while well rested and sober...so either I have some issues or the fact of the matter is that it's a boy monkey and proud of it!
So glad life seems to be finding a new normal for you...a good normal.
I LOVE the name Adelle! So wonderful! I'm so glad monkey penis is the biggest news in your house right now.
Happy to hear all is well! that monkey is interesting to say the least.
This is awesome!!! I especially like this as when I've worked on crafty projects with my MIL and her older lady friends, we all end up finding everything looks like penises!
Glad you are all home. That monkey is all kinds of awesome.
Hilarious post!
I just ran across your blog because I was looking at the stats on our blog (minnesota wild) and noticed traffic from your blog. Am looking forward to more of your posts!
Roz
I can only imagine the google traffic this post is getting :) Hope you are getting some sleep now!
Jen-It's been a couple months since I've stalked your blog. I had no idea Ainsley had passed away. Sorry doesn't seem like the right words, but it's all I know to say...just so sad and deeply sorry. And then read that the new baby girl has arrived and I'm happy...and well, gosh, what a mix of emotions. I can't imagine what your heart must feel...but, then when I read about the monkey it made me realize you were handling things with as much grace and laughter as you know how. And that is beautiful! Congrats on the beautiful new girl and I'll be praying for you all. (I just totally said all the wrong things, didn't I? Charge it to my head and not my heart :)
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