6 Months: Holy Crap

It seems that I forgot to do a five month post.

I've been busy. You know, enjoying Olivia, of course. And other stuff. Like maybe developing a giant crush on a reality TV contestant? Or not. I'm just throwing things out there.

(Is Mark jealous? Ummm...no.

But anyway, mah baybee is SIX MONTHS OLD! Six! Months!

Every day she does something new and adorable. And really? Even if I want to be in a bad mood? I can't. She makes me happy.

In the interest of getting this post done already, GAHD I've been trying to write it for a week, here is a random list of stuff that I never want to forget about Olivia right now:

- When she is tired, she plays with her right ear. Before bed, we rock in her chair with a bottle, and she plays with her ear while she eats. When she's done, she does a giant "I'm over it" sigh and puts her left arm over her eyes. EVERY NIGHT.

- She totally knows her name. I'm not sure when this really happened, but if you say it, she whips her head around and is all, what? I'm playing mom leave me alone!

- Repetition cracks her ass up. (heh...that's a stupid sentence. But I'm leaving it.)

- When she is excited or mad, she kicks her legs. If I am holding her, it looks like she is trying to run. On weeknights, when Mark gets home, she smiles and kicks her legs.

- My mom taught her to fake cough. She coughs and gives you the flirt eye. If you cough, she does a giant smile. This is so cute to me. Except last week the sitter called to tell me that Olivia had a bit of a cough...so maybe it's not cute to everyone.

- She goes to sleep so easily. We put her down awake with her blanket, and she talks herself to sleep. What a difference a month makes in the sleep department!

- She wants to be everywhere except where she is. She will fling her body in the general direction of anything that sparks her interest. She's either curious or has a death wish.

- Stranger danger has set in. She seems to be OK if someone is holding her when we are NOT around. But if she can see us, she lasts about 30 seconds before doing a giant pout face and starting a very dramatic Woe Is Me cry.

- She is a total drama queen when she cries. First, big pout lip. Then, noises of dismay - usually "ahgeeeee...geeee...aaaaageeeee....WAAAHHH!" See Exhibit A:

Pout Lip: Pick Me Up or Pay the Consequences.


In her defense, that fake grass was ridiculous.

We took her for her 6 month photos over the weekend. I could post a bazillion, but here's a few:





I always thought fake scenery was tacky. Until you put Mah Baybee in front of it. Then it's just: AWE! MAH BAYBEE AT THA BEEEEEECH!

(this was about 2 seconds before she tried to eat that entire prop in one NOM.)


As promised, a poop story...

We went to visit a friend who just had a smooshy little baybee boy. Olivia was on her best behavior, even after we got lost and ended up being in the car for 2 hours. Took a nap in a strange crib, entertained herself while we talked. It was great.

She was eating her last bottle before hitting the road, and she did the Grunts of Doom - poop for sure. So I picked her up and took my perfectly well behaved baybee over to the pack and play.

And then Someone says, "Is that what I think it is?"

And I turn around and see that one of the dogs has shit on the floor. EW! GAG! GROSSAROO!

And then Someone says, "Did the baby shit on the floor?"

And I'm all NOOOO! Not mah baybee! While I look disdainfully at the dogs, trying to pass of their shit for mah baybee's shit. Stoopid dogs.

Then I go to take off Olivia's shorts.

AND THERE IS SHIT EVERYWHERE!

SHE SHAT ON THE FLOOR!

I shit you not, it looked exactly like this:


And then I died from embarrassment. I died and I'm writing this from beyond the grave. Mah baybee shat on someones floor.

But at least she is cute.

It wuz the dog, I swearz.


****

You can still win! I will pick the winner tomorrow!