I got my Clomid and HCG today!
I took the first Clomid an hour ago and guess what! I'm not crazy yet!
My internal ultrasound went fine - no cysts and my "uterus looks wonderful." That is what Dr. Fabulous said. I bet he wanted to say badass.
Clomid for five days, then on 11/11 I go in for an ultrasound to see how my follies are growing. If they are the right size, they will give me the HCG shot to make me ovulate. Inseminations are the two days following the HCG shot.
In other exciting news: I haven't *ahem* dropped the kids at the pool since Monday. My stomach is killing me - like a sharp pain every time I take a step. I am so bloated that someone at Target actually thought I was Jabba the Hut and asked for my autograph.
On Sunday I weighed myself, and on Wednesday I weighed 10 POUNDS MORE! I am so full of shit (literally) and gas and water that I gained 10 pounds. I even took a laxative and added Benefiber to my yogurt yesterday and today. I swear, I am about to go buy a tub of prunes and eat until I go.
Pray for a poo here soon, folks.
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Friday, November 2, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
My Ovaries and Uterus are Badass.
I'm back from surgery! Sorry, no Grey's Anatomyish stories to tell. Although I was wondering if there were some interns in a closet getting it on Meredith and McDreamy-style...
Sunday night, I had to drink a 10 ounce bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Not good times for moi. I gagged the entire time and had to really not focus on throwing up because oh my god please don't make me drink any more of THAT! Blech.
I waited and waited and waited for the poo, but nothing happened. So I gave up and went to bed. At about 6 a.m. I woke up and thought "Wow, I feel crappy." Then I realized that I literally felt crappy. And then it happened: The assplosion. Just, wow.
The whole experience was not bad. At all. Never one to disappoint, I had a diva experience while getting my IV and passed out. The nurse was very sweet and used an alcohol swab around my nose instead of smelling salts, and that kept me alert. They had to try twice before finding a good vein, but once it was in I was A-OK.
The surgery was fine - I don't remember anything after I got in the operating room.
I woke up fine, no nausea because I asked for medication for that before the surgery (thanks, Sus). I was just super thirsty because I wasn't allowed to drink anything all day. I went to Eat N' Park and got a turkey sandwich and chicken noodle soup, and it was the best meal of my life! Or maybe I was just starving. Either way...
The rest of Monday night I pretty much just slept. Today I feel OK. My throat hurts from the tube they put in there, and my stomach is pretty sore. My chest feels like Starr Jones (pre gastric bypass) is sitting on it. But I really feel way better than anticipated.
Dr. Fabulous didn't find any endometriosis or anything that needed to be removed. So I basically did it for nothing, but I'm glad I did. It's worth the peace of mind. The only way to check for endometriosis is to have the surgery and I know I would always be worried that I had it.
Soooo that's it. I have to wait to get my period, then call and schedule a baseline ultrasound to make sure that I don't have any cysts. If I don't, then I can start taking clomid and we can do an IUI this month.
Sunday night, I had to drink a 10 ounce bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Not good times for moi. I gagged the entire time and had to really not focus on throwing up because oh my god please don't make me drink any more of THAT! Blech.
I waited and waited and waited for the poo, but nothing happened. So I gave up and went to bed. At about 6 a.m. I woke up and thought "Wow, I feel crappy." Then I realized that I literally felt crappy. And then it happened: The assplosion. Just, wow.
The whole experience was not bad. At all. Never one to disappoint, I had a diva experience while getting my IV and passed out. The nurse was very sweet and used an alcohol swab around my nose instead of smelling salts, and that kept me alert. They had to try twice before finding a good vein, but once it was in I was A-OK.
The surgery was fine - I don't remember anything after I got in the operating room.
I woke up fine, no nausea because I asked for medication for that before the surgery (thanks, Sus). I was just super thirsty because I wasn't allowed to drink anything all day. I went to Eat N' Park and got a turkey sandwich and chicken noodle soup, and it was the best meal of my life! Or maybe I was just starving. Either way...
The rest of Monday night I pretty much just slept. Today I feel OK. My throat hurts from the tube they put in there, and my stomach is pretty sore. My chest feels like Starr Jones (pre gastric bypass) is sitting on it. But I really feel way better than anticipated.
Dr. Fabulous didn't find any endometriosis or anything that needed to be removed. So I basically did it for nothing, but I'm glad I did. It's worth the peace of mind. The only way to check for endometriosis is to have the surgery and I know I would always be worried that I had it.
Soooo that's it. I have to wait to get my period, then call and schedule a baseline ultrasound to make sure that I don't have any cysts. If I don't, then I can start taking clomid and we can do an IUI this month.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I'm not that kind of girl!
Tuesday, Dr. Fabulous did my follow-up ultrasound to make sure my cyst was gone. It was.
But excuse me if I can't help but feel like maybe he should get to know me a little better before he...well, gets in there with that thing! You know, take me out to dinner, or learn my favorite color, or ask me about my hopes and dreams.
Really, what is the difference between this lovely Pure Romance dildo and the internal ultrasound wand? Sure, you may say the ultrasound wand doesn't vibrate, but how do you know for sure? It might.
Turns out my hormones are fine. Fine fine fine. We are going to go ahead with the laparoscopic surgery on October 29 to check for endometriosis. I have my pre-op appointment on the 25th (I think), then they shall blow up my belly like a fat whale and get rid of the gunk inside. Great times.
Dr. Fabulous said that the average couple has a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant. Mark and I have a 5% chance (sperm issues, see below). Because of our decreased chance, he thinks that we can conceive naturally, but he thinks it could take about 5 years. No reason for us to wait that long, so we are going to move forward with some fertility treatments.
Now Mark's results, well, we've got an issue. Not a major issue, but still something we'll have to deal with. It turns out that Mark's morphology is a little off. Meaning, they're shaped funny and have a little bit of a hard time getting in the egg. We are going to try some vitamins and extra-healthy eating for the next two months to improve the morphology.
It might be the little hats they insist on wearing. And I think my eggs may be a little nervous about pirate sperm, given the immediate association with butt pirates and also the fear that the embryo will want to sport an eye patch and parrot.
I digress. The plan is for me to get the lap surgery, then try 3 IUI (Intra-uterine insemination) cycles with Clomid. He said our chances with Clomid and IUI are 20% each time, which puts us on pace with normal people. After three cycles: reevaluate.
Since I am a horrible lazy whore who is bad about giving updates, here is the information you will need to figure out what the hell I am talking about:
IUI - Intra-uterine insemination. The sperm are taken from Mark (by masturbation or fear tactics, whichever works) and washed, then put directly into my uterus with a catheter. Washing them weeds out the unhealthy sperm and gets rid of any debris in the seminal fluid. This is timed with my ovulation to up our chances of conceiving.
Clomid - a pill that I will take for a week at the beginning of my cycle to make my eggs grow. It helps to improve egg quality. Will make me feel crazy, fat and bitchy. Good times. 10% increase in the chance of conceiving twins, less than 1% chance of triplets.
hCG - a hormone that induces ovulation. I will be monitored by ultrasound to see when the Clomid has developed a few eggs. When I'm ready, I will get a shot of hCG to cause me to ovulate. Two days later, I will have the IUI done on back-to-back days.
But excuse me if I can't help but feel like maybe he should get to know me a little better before he...well, gets in there with that thing! You know, take me out to dinner, or learn my favorite color, or ask me about my hopes and dreams.
Really, what is the difference between this lovely Pure Romance dildo and the internal ultrasound wand? Sure, you may say the ultrasound wand doesn't vibrate, but how do you know for sure? It might.
Turns out my hormones are fine. Fine fine fine. We are going to go ahead with the laparoscopic surgery on October 29 to check for endometriosis. I have my pre-op appointment on the 25th (I think), then they shall blow up my belly like a fat whale and get rid of the gunk inside. Great times.
Dr. Fabulous said that the average couple has a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant. Mark and I have a 5% chance (sperm issues, see below). Because of our decreased chance, he thinks that we can conceive naturally, but he thinks it could take about 5 years. No reason for us to wait that long, so we are going to move forward with some fertility treatments.
Now Mark's results, well, we've got an issue. Not a major issue, but still something we'll have to deal with. It turns out that Mark's morphology is a little off. Meaning, they're shaped funny and have a little bit of a hard time getting in the egg. We are going to try some vitamins and extra-healthy eating for the next two months to improve the morphology.
It might be the little hats they insist on wearing. And I think my eggs may be a little nervous about pirate sperm, given the immediate association with butt pirates and also the fear that the embryo will want to sport an eye patch and parrot.
I digress. The plan is for me to get the lap surgery, then try 3 IUI (Intra-uterine insemination) cycles with Clomid. He said our chances with Clomid and IUI are 20% each time, which puts us on pace with normal people. After three cycles: reevaluate.
Since I am a horrible lazy whore who is bad about giving updates, here is the information you will need to figure out what the hell I am talking about:
IUI - Intra-uterine insemination. The sperm are taken from Mark (by masturbation or fear tactics, whichever works) and washed, then put directly into my uterus with a catheter. Washing them weeds out the unhealthy sperm and gets rid of any debris in the seminal fluid. This is timed with my ovulation to up our chances of conceiving.
Clomid - a pill that I will take for a week at the beginning of my cycle to make my eggs grow. It helps to improve egg quality. Will make me feel crazy, fat and bitchy. Good times. 10% increase in the chance of conceiving twins, less than 1% chance of triplets.
hCG - a hormone that induces ovulation. I will be monitored by ultrasound to see when the Clomid has developed a few eggs. When I'm ready, I will get a shot of hCG to cause me to ovulate. Two days later, I will have the IUI done on back-to-back days.
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