About Jennepper

Hi there!

I'm Jennifer Knepper. But everyone really calls me Jen.   Knepper, with a silent K.  Don't go around calling me Jen Kuh-nepper or anything or I might have to cut you.  With a Kuh-nife.

Jennepper = Jen Knepper all crammed together.  I should have made my blog title and my domain the same but I didn't.  Good decision making, right there.




Adventures in marital bliss...

In 2006, I married Mark.  We met on Match.com, back when people thought that was weird or for losers.  Perhaps you still think that it is weird or for losers.  We are weird AND losers so I suppose you are doubly right.  Yay you!
Just a couple of weird losers.
March 18, 2006
Photo Credit: Noble Images
We have a pretty great marriage, even though we don't write mushy posts to each other on Facebook or anything.  I think the secret to our marriage is that we have equally weird senses of humor.  Don't get me wrong, things aren't perfect!  Our marriage thrives despite many challenges - he rearranges MY bathroom cabinets without telling me, and I have a bad habit of leaving all of the drawers and doors open just a crack.  Marriage can be hard, ya know?

Adventures in infertility and moron management...

We decided to start trying for kids right away.  Like all young people, we assumed that our reproductive organs were so awesome that we would immediately create the most radical, world-altering pregnancy.
A year and a half later, we would come to find that we were struggling with Male Factor Infertility.  Clomid, Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) with ICSI would become our favorite texting acronyms.  Because being an adult can be so fun!

An IUI, two fresh IVFs, and an FET later, we had some pretty awesome kids, thanks to Dr. Goldfarb (formerly of Cleveland Clinic, now of University Hospitals in Cleveland). 

You should know that if I ever end up in jail? It is because I assaulted someone who told me that I would get pregnant as soon as I relaxed.  You know, "Maybe If You Just Relax."  Relaxing doesn't make babies, people.  Dirty hot sex or stone cold science?  Those make babies. 

Adventures in pregnancy and parenting...

My first fresh IVF failed, but my second was a success.  This is Olivia.  As I write this, she is almost 4 and totally sassy.  She loves Beyonce, all things Disney Princess, jamming to her Hello Kitty radio, and carbs.  Lots of carbs.

Olivia Audrey Knepper
August 2012, 3.5 Years
Photo Credit: Photography by Val

Aside from Gestational Diabetes and a brush with Preeclampsia at the end, I had a really easy pregnancy and delivery with Olivia.

When Olivia was one, we decided that we were ready to add to our family again.  Luckily, we had frozen embryos left and we were able to use them.  We were thrilled and shocked (mostly shocked) to learn that I was pregnant with identical twins.  Girls.

There was a lot of drama - disparity in growth, a brain that just didn't look right, a heart that just didn't look right - and preeclampsia again.  This time, it was bad enough to land me in the hospital at 31 weeks with a planned c-section at 32 weeks. The night before my planned c-section, we lost one of the twins. 

Evelyn Cecille suffered a fetomaternal hemorrhage and her sister, Ainsley Laura, was at risk because of the way that identical twins are connected in utero.  So we delivered them that night, December 29, 2010.  Evelyn asleep and Ainsley small and fighting.

Ainsley went directly to the NICU at Akron Children's Hospital, where she lived for 16 months.  She had some pretty shitty lungs and was diagnosed with Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia, and later, Pulmonary Hypertension.  She was ventilator dependent and had a trach to help her breathe, and a G-Tube for all feedings and meds. 

Ainsley's MO: Do awesome!  Get sick.  Get really sick.  Rock bottom.  Get better.  Do awesome!  Get sick.  Get really sick.  Rock bottom.  Get better.  Do awesome! Etc.  Always cute, though.  She was always smiling even when she felt awful.

Ainsley loved her mommy and daddy and nurses, splashing in the bath, making everyone clap and smile, playing with ID badges, and dancing to her musical toys.


Ainsley Laura Knepper
May 2012, 16 Months
Photo Credit: My Scratched Up iPhone

Adventures in being a cautionary tale...

When Ainsley was 9 months old, I had a weird random barfing incident.  A few rounds of counting on my fingers and I was off to Target to buy a pregnancy test.  Which was positive.  Between working full-time, visiting Ainsley at the hospital every day, and taking care of Olivia, I managed to "relax" enough to get KTFU.  (Knocked the fuck up.  Because I am classy.)  No fertility treatments for this one - I'm  not that crazy.

On May 12, 2012, Ainsley passed away in our arms after a long and brave fight with her chronic lung disease.  On May 29, 2012, Adelle Sophia was born. 

Adelle Sophia Knepper
December 2012, 7 months
Photo Credit: My Nikon DSLR that I have no idea how to use.
 Adelle (not after the singer STOP ASKING) was born healthy and strong.  As I write this, Adelle is almost 8 months old and is so!freaking!happy! about everything.  She is busy hurling herself at objects, trying to crawl, and trying to eat anything she can find. 


Adventures in being a lady of leisure...

After Ainsley died and Adelle was born, I decided that I needed to take some time off from work.  I never aspired to be a stay at home mom, but I just felt like I couldn't go back.  Financially it worked, so I quit my job in the retirement services industry to become a Lady of Leisure and now I have all kinds of free time for activities.

HA!  Just kidding.  I barely have time to pee or brush my hair.

I hope you enjoy my blog.  I'm sorry about all of the cussing.

7 comments:

Cut My Milk said...

I.Love.Your.Blog.
Jen, you are not only hilarious, but honest and amazing! Your girls are gorgeous - Ainsley looks as though she may have had a bit of cheekiness about her! I have 5 kids, 4 through fertility treatments (includes twin girls) and a 9 month old 'natural' big pink surprise. Like Adelle, Scarlett tries to eat everything she sees - food, paper, dirt & the occasional beetle. They'd get on fabulously!

Lisa @ Cut My Milk.

Unknown said...

Hi Jen

I'm in love with your blog! I found it at just the right time, too! We've been trying for a few months now, and with every passing month, it gets a little bit harder and you start to feel a little bit sorry for yourself (and I know I shouldn't - we're still in the fertile window and have a few months left before we start with the hard core stuff and being infertile, officially). We have a lot of friends who recently fell pregnant (without even trying, of course) which makes it really tough and it's hard to not get negative about it!

That said, you have made me laugh so much about this very issue at hand - thank you SO much! Hubby and I now also refer to the "others" as The Fertiles. Makes us feel better :) Your girls are beautiful. Never lose your wonderful sense of humor!

A fan all the way from South Africa,
Des

n.p. said...

Jen,

I just found your blog while looking for ways to get my 5 wk old to sleep (the Happiest Baby on the Block post). As you've been at this a while I look forward to reading through it all during the many late night feedings I have to come.

I appreciate that you write like a real person (please don't stop cussing) and think we would get along if we ever met in real life. You may have inspired me to tackle my own blog (something I've wanted to do for some time).

Cheers from Toronto,

Nastassja

Julie @ Living on the Ledge said...

Jen-
I'm not sure how I just came across your blog - I got all caught up in your About page and am laughing my ass off. And I feel terrible because it contains some quite sad parts. My babies are also here because of medical intervention and every word you write is so relatable. I also must have finally "relaxed" because I have a surprise baby on the way. Anyway, I just started blogging, and found my way here. I'm adding you to my blogroll asap because of your incredible sense of humor and honesty. Amazing!

Kristy Taxson said...

Jen:

I found your blog about 15 minutes ago and am instantly addicted. I can't stop reading it! I've already laughed, cried, and could relate to parts of your story! I would love to link your blog to mine (as I blog I follow and love) if you don't mind! I just LOVE your honestly and humor! Your writing captured me right away! Thank you for sharing (and over sharing!) your struggle and success with IF!

Kristy

hdone said...

I stumble across your blog on Pinterest looking for cabinet staining techniques, and I was happily surprised to find that it is also an infertility blog. Love it! We just had our second IUI fail, and I love it when I'm reminded that other people deal with this too (even though all of our friends and siblings seem perpetually pregnant.) Looking forward to following your story!

Unknown said...

I really miss your writing. I followed your blog for YEARS!