Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Look out, boys.

"I'm going to kick ALL OF THE BALLS!"

Oh.  My poor little neglected blog.  One of these days I will get it together!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Thug Life

There are a lot of times that I catch Mark doing funny things.  Or, things he thinks are totally normal until he realizes that I am trying to take a picture and then he is all, wait, I am weird and then runs away from me before I can capture said weirdness.

A couple months ago, we were desperate to watch some TV.  Olivia was with my mom and Adelle was crying her fool head off and we were eating dinner and just wanted to watch some freaking Breaking Bad.  You can only listen to your little adorable preshus screaming for so long before you need to witness a little bit of meth cooking and violence to balance it all out. 

So I inhaled my food and swaddled Adelle, and Mark brought his food down to our dark basement and we watched some freaking Breaking Bad.  At some point I looked over at Mark and realized that he was holding a flashlight up over his plate to eat his dinner.


I missed that picture though.  It was one of the very saddest days of my life.

I had to beg to catch this weirdness, which Mark self-titled, "Thug Life."

It was a very serious shaving emergency, you see.
And this pretty pretty princess bandage was the only thing
standing between my husband and a bleed out
via pesky hair follicle.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

First Day of Preschool

I never thought I'd be the teary-eyed mom sending her kid to school. I always loved school as a kid and so to me, going to school is just so exciting and fun.

And then I had kids.

Last year I had to meet our babysitter at her son's school to drop Olivia off. It was drop off time and I was sitting in my car watching all these little tiny kids and their big giant backpacks hop off the bus and walk into the huge scary school. And then I was all WUT?! This is making me want to cry!  My emoshuns are making me unnnncomfortabbbblllleee.

Giant backpack on my tiny girl.
I guess it is one of those things that happens while you're not paying attention. Becoming a freaking pansy wuss, I mean.

I took Olivia to preschool Tuesday and was not tempted at all to cry. So I guess my freaking pansy wussness does not apply to preschool.  Yay me.

So excited!

There isn't much to do to prepare.  Orientation was last week and so we spent the weekend memorizing her teacher's name.  We also spent the weekend telling her, "NO IT IS NOT TIME FOR SCHOOL YET STOP ASKING."

She is Olivia K. at school, hello top 3 name!
Her backpack hook is, like, the kewlest thing evah.
 She ran in the room and didn't look back.  I went home, put Adelle down for a nap, and did a workout.  It was a pretty fantastic day for all.

The teacher told me that she did great.  I knew she would. Also, the teacher told her she was tiny to which Olivia replied, "No I'm not, I'm BIG!"

Yes, Olivia.  You are.  So big I can't even believe it.


My blog is crazy embarrassing this week.  All of these review publish dates were supposed to be weeks apart but were pushed around and now it's all ADS! and REVIEWS! all at once.  So...sorry about that.  Here is a fat and very serious baby picture to try to make it up to you...

I'm going to roll over, but only because I'm super pissed.

Elmo Daze

Seriously...what is it about Elmo?  I don't know if I can say that all kids love Elmo but it is pretty safe to say that most of them do.  Right?  He's like big red furry kid crack.

(Does that sound like I'm referring to butt crack?  I'm not.  Just so you know.  I am not against talking about butt crack but in this particular instance I am not, in fact, talking about butt crack.)

We haven't watched any Elmo for a really long time.  The last Elmo encounter we had was with the Elmo Tickle Hands which...good god, man, that tickle song could get stuck in my head for weeks.  I was glad when those things ran out of batteries and I could pretend that boo hoo, they were broken, sorry about your rotten luck Olivia. 

(And by rotten luck, I mean having parents who lie about your obnoxious toys being broken when really all they need is batteries.  We love our sanity more than we love your enjoyment of obnoxious toys.)

But for some reason we had Elmo on and everyone in the house was in some sort of weird Elmo daze.  I can't remember what I was trying to ask Olivia but I said her name about 14 times with no response when I was tempted to take a picture.

Ellllllmmmmmooooo.....I am here to serve you.....
(Seriously they should embed secret messages in these shows.
Like, eat your effing vegetables or something else useful.)
Adelle was on my lap being awfully quiet.  I looked down at her and realized that she, too, was mesmerized by the antics of this big red furry street boss.

Elmo loves his gold fish, his crayon too!
* drool *
The most ridiculous part is that...I like Elmo.  Every time he asks the question of the day and then at the end he asks a baby?  I'm all, "that red furry sumbitch is asking a baybee!  The hilarity!"  I tried to take a picture of myself but something kept going wrong - some giant person with 3 chins was appearing in the photo instead of me?  Maybe my phone is broken, I don't know.  I need to get it looked at I guess.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Dove Product Review and Sweepstakes

This review could not have come at a better time for me!  You all know that I've recently become a Lady of Leisure and that I'm looking for ways to make room in the budget.  One of my guilty pleasures is buying obscenenly expensive hair products. 

Gloss drops, heat protectant, mousse, hairspray.  And always, always: conditioner.  I am a pro at justifying the purchase of a $25 bottle of conditioner.  It comes with a 1 ounce free sample!  I had a bad week!  Maybe if my hair is spendy and shiny my ass will look less fat!

(That trick?  The less fat trick?  Doesn't work.)

I've been trying to find more affordable alternatives to my favorite spendy products.  I've found heat protectant spray, moisturizer, foundation, and eyeshadow.  I'm still stuck on shampoo, conditioner, and mousse/root spray.

So I was really glad to receive a bottle of Dove Intensive Repair Conditioner to try out and review.  I mean, affordable products can become really expensive when you try a bunch before you find a good one.  And I like to rotate hair products so I need at least two or three products on the winner list.

This Dove Intensive Repair Conditioner?  Is a winner.

Let me start off with the only slight negative about this conditioner: the smell.  It isn't horrible but it isn't my favorite, either.  I like a fresh, clean smell to my hair products and this product has a very slight perfume scent out of the bottle.  However, the perfume scent was gone after I dried my hair and I was very happy with the fresh scent after that.

Otherwise, I love it! 

I don't have thick hair, but I have quite a bit of it.  So conditioner is tricky for me because my hair can easily become weighed down and greasy-looking.  At the same time, my hair has been colored and damaged and I always blow dry and flat iron.  I need a conditioner that can counteract the damage without making me look like a greaser.

A little bit goes a long way because the conditioner is pretty thick.  My hair falls just below my shoulder, and a tiny bit of this conditioner left my hair looking shiny and feeling light.  I've used and 4 times since I received it and it have been so happy with my hair every time.  Which is fantastic considering the temperature here has been two degrees short of hades.

I will definitely add this conditioner to the rotation!  It left my hair feeling smooth, looking shiny and healthy, and smelling fresh.

Now for the fun part - Enter to win a $1,000 Spafinder gift certificate!  All you have to do is answer the following question: What would you do with a $1,000 Spafinder gift certificate?

(Please note: you are welcome to comment on this post, but to enter the sweepstakes you have to follow the link below!)

Here are the rules and ways to enter:



You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Follow this link, and provide your email address and your response to the Promotion prompt

b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: "#SweepstakesEntry"; and then visit this link to provide your email address and the URL to that Tweet.

c) Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and then visit this link to provide your email address and the URL to that post.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. Winners will have 72 hours to claim the prize, or an alternative winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 9/4/2012 - 9/30/2012

Be sure to visit Dove®Hair.com to get a coupon for $1.50 off Dove Hair Therapy products.

Chuck E Cheese's Review and Sweepstakes!

How about a chance to win a $100 gift card to Chuck E. Cheese's?

I hadn't been to Chuck E. Cheese's in a long time. And by long, I mean the past 25-ish years! My last experience with Chuck E. Cheese's was in elementary school when my parents took me to play as a reward for getting good grades. A tradition I'd like to continue with my kids for sure! I was always so excited to play skeeball even though I sucked at it!

Of course, I was on the kid end then, and I thought it was really fun. As an adult with a 3 and a half year old (or as a friend calls it, Threenager)...I wasn't sure. In all fairness, anything with a threenager in tow can be bliss or torture, depending entirely on the nap situation.

So, what to do? Risk it alone with my threenager? Or invite my favorite friends and THEIR threenagers?
I'm codependent, what can I say?
(That would be my threenager's blur head in the bottom left corner.)
(And that is my ticket pyramid on the table.)

OHMAIGAHD you guys, we had so much fun!!

My very favorite thing was the Kid Check when you walk in the door. Each parent and child get a matching number stamps (invisible, so you don't look like you were out clubbing...with your toddler...at the bar) and no kid is allowed out the door without an adult who has the matching stamp. So this basically means that I was able to actually talk to grown ups! About something other than the potty/toe jam/popsicles/Disney Jr. without worrying that my kid would be roaming the parking lot alone or with some stranger.
Too engrossed in threenager conversation to
smile for me.

They have a giant menu and everything was reasonably priced. We chose to stick with the traditional Chuck E. Cheese's Cheese pizza, which was enjoyed by threenagers and adults alike and was destroyed quickly. And do you know what else they have? COFFEE. A very important requirement for me, as I require near constant caffeination.
There is something for everyone to do. Everything is only one token, and a token is 25 cents or less. There are rides for little kids, video games, easy games, and even a little playground. Our little group of kiddos were having fun just watching the lights on the games. Which is great because it is free to get in. So this can be a really affordable way for your kids to have fun with their friends while you eat and talk with your friends.
They even have games for grown ups who have no shame.
No shame at all.

Anytime I go to a play place intended for children, I worry about All of the Germs, ZOMG. Because kids are gross. I was totally impressed with how clean everything was! You were asked to sanitize your hands when you came in and there were hand sanitizers available all over the place. The bathrooms were also very clean, which is key for the newly potty trained!
In this picture, I'm telling her to yell,
and I am the only one who is yelling,
I would call Olivia's first trip to Chuck E. Cheese's a huge success! We will go back for sure, because I love a place where I can let my kid have fun and play while I talk with my friends. It was fun for Olivia to pick out prizes at the end of the trip. She got two tattoos and a little spider and she was over the moon excited about it.
For more information, visit Chuck E. Cheese's website and stay connected by liking Chuck E. Cheese's page on Facebook.
So, anyway. This is actually a sweepstakes and you can win! All you have to do is answer the following question in the comments:

Why does your family love Chuck E. Cheese's?

And, of course there are rules and additional ways to win, so here they are:

No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: ""#SweepstakesEntry""; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 9/4/2012-10/4/2012.

Be sure to visit the Chuck E. Cheese's brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!