Ainsley passed away early Saturday morning. After almost seventeen months, her poor little body was just so tired from fighting for so long. We held her and kissed her and told her how much we loved her over and over until she left us.
The last time she was awake was Monday, May 7. This is a picture of her from that day. Happy as always despite her struggles. This is how I will always remember her - my happy, silly, smiley little Ainsley. My little meatloaf.
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| The sweetest, happiest baby. Ever. |
I am grateful for every minute I had with Ainsley and I would have sacrificed anything if it meant that I could have more time with her. I guess I never really understood the saying, "Rest In Peace" until now. No more sickness, no more struggle to breathe - just peaceful rest for our sweet girl, who deserved everything good and happy in this world.
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| She changed our lives in all of the best ways. |
500 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 500 of 500Jen, what heart-breaking news. I'm so sad to hear about your beautiful little girl.
I am so, so sorry. I was literally stunned when I saw the title of your post ... I know there are no words to take your pain away. ALL of your girls are so lucky to have such a great a mom.
To Ainsley, all our love, for fighting so hard, reminding us what we take for granted. Mark, Jen and Olivia- thinking of you and wishing you strength from as far away as New Zealand.
Love D & Aish.
May little Ainsley rest in peace with her sister. I have been reading your blog for a long time and think you're such an upbeat, positive woman despite the hardships life throws your way. God bless you and your family through this hard time.
I am so incredibly sorry. I am keeping you, and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Rest in peace sweet beautiful Ainsley<3
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers where you have been for years now.
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Oh, Sweet Ainsley, fly free Sweetheart.
As a Momma who hugged and kissed her baby boy goodbye after 75 days, I promise, you will all be okay someday. Never okay with her sister's death, never okay with her struggle, and never okay with saying goodbye...but you, as a family, will be okay one day. you are all in my prayers.
I am so, so very sorry. I wish I had something better to say. Rest in peace, little angel.
So very sorry. Your blog has made me smile on days that I just didn't feel like smiling. Wishing I could do the same for you now. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. We will miss beautiful Ainsley.
Sorry for your loss just seems so insignificant but I really truly am sorry for the loss of your sweet Ainsley.
I am so so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family, Jen. Ainsley was such an amazing little girl.
I am so, so sorry.
Jennifer I am so incredibly sorry about the loss of your sweet little girl. My heart is broken for you and your family.
We love you, Ainsley.
I've been lurking on your blog for the past two years, and your sense of humor and determination has helped me through many rough days. I think anyone who has followed your family's story knows that you are tough enough to endure anything, but I truly wish that you didn't have to... Ainsley was a beauty and a fighter, and I am terribly sorry to read this sad news. I am glad that she is at peace now, and wish that this world had been kinder to her. You all deserved more time together. By sharing your story and her story, you have touched so many lives, and I hope that the love and sorrow we are all feeling for you now helps give some comfort.
I'm so sad for you all. What a sweet sweet girl she was. Prayers for all of you.
Dear Jen and family, I cannot stop thinking of you and your tragedy. I am not much of a religious person, but I know that God is holding your girls. You are in my thoughts and I wish I could say or do something to ease your heart ache. much love from connecticut. -Laura
Jen, I am so sorry. Your grace under difficulty and your deep love of your children come across so clearly in this blog. Peace to you and yours at this difficult time.
I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.
She was the happiest baby i've ever seen, because of all the love she received. May she rest in peace and breath easy. She is reunited with her twin. Thinking of you!
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Sweet baby girl, may she find peace. Evelyn is waiting for her in heaven, she will take care of her. I pray for your family. She was a beautiful girl with an infectious smile. I am so sorry Jen.
Please know that there are so many people out there who stumbled on your blog for one reason or another, kept coming back because you are a refreshing blend of hilarious and honest, and are grieving with you and sending prayers your way.
I don't know your family, but have been following your wonderful blog for a while. I'm so sorry for your loss of Ainsley. She was a beautiful little girl and will always be remembered. Thank you for sharing her story with us. Love to you and your family.
Your beautiful, sweet girl. I am so sorry. So, so, so sorry. Wishing peace for all of you.
My heart breaks for you and your family. Sending prayers your way. I am SO so sorry.
There are no words. My heart breaks for you.
Praying for your family tonight. Rest in peace, sweet Ainsley.
There are no words that can touch this loss. You are all in my thoughts, as you have been for the last 17 months. Rest in peace sweet Ainsley.
Rest in peace, sweet girl.
Oh my, she was such a strong child! Sending prayers and hugs your way!
I am heartbroken for you. I've followed you for a couple of years now and can not believe this has happened. Sending lots of loving thoughts your way.
i have struggled with how to eloquently say this...
but the words escape me.
so as another member of the community who quietly rallied at your daughter's bedside, i am so very sorry.
My deepest thoughts are with. May God bless you and keep you during this difficult time x
Oh Jen, I can't believe you had to write this post. Ainsley's incredible smile was such an inspiration. You are in my prayers.
I have been following your blog off and on for years and I just wanted to express how sorry I am for the loss of your beautiful little muffin. She was such a fighter and so precious. Your family is in my thoughts.
I will so miss Ainsley's adorable face, and especially how she laughed and smiled with her eyes. Reading Ainsley's story really impacted over these last many months.
I am sorry for you and your family - ugh, the pain I am feeling for you. I cannot even imagine the depth of your pain. But, as you say, there is peace for Ainsley, and hopefully for your family, too. All the best
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Rest in peace little Ainsley, and prayers to your family to find comfort during this time.
Oh Jen, my heart goes out to you and your lovely family. I can barely see the keyboard for tears.
I've been reading your blog for years and you've always been an irreverent, scrappy, IF-slapping role model to me over here in Blighty. The very least I can do in return is send you all my love at this horrible time - although it doesn't seem enough.
I hope beautiful Ainsley and Evelyn get up to all sorts of excellent monkey business in heaven together.
oh Jenn, her pictures were always like a sprinkle of sunshine for me. she just radiated! sending love to you, your family and brave big sister Olivia <3 sending some peace and comfort for you. just hoping with all my might that life gives you some easy times now. you have had enough.
so much strength your way, friend
xoxo
lis
oh my Mama heart aches for yours....there are no words that are right or fair or normal - because none of this IS.
I'm sorry. So very, very sorry.
Ainsley was loved from near & far, and will be missed by all of us! She was such a special, sweet girl!
Praying for your family.
There are no words, but I wish you and your entire family what comfort can come from knowing that Ainsley is at peace, and that her sister Evelyn is keeping her company and looking over those of you who are still here. Thank you for sharing Ainsley's infectious sweet smile. Sending much love to all of you.
I am more sorry than I can say, this is so heartbreaking. Praying for you and your family.
I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who loved Ainsley.
I am so incredibly sorry for you loss. Peace for Ainsley and for you and your entire family. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I just discovered your blog through Becky and wanted to express my condolences. Your story of Evelyn and Ainsley break my heart. I'm praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.
Words can't express how sorry I am. I just read this and kept saying no no NO in my head with tears streaming. Praying so hard for you,but I must admit I'm angry with God for this. I just don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.
I am shocked and saddened to read this! I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Oh Jen... I am so sorry. Praying for your family and keeping all of you in our thoughts.
so so so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
So, so incredibly sorry for your loss. My first child was stillborn at almost 39 weeks and my heart is broken that you are having to say goodbye to a second baby who is so, so very loved.
Thank you for sharing her story - she is beautiful and as you said, may she rest in peace, knowing how loved she is.
I'm so sorry. I understand the comfort of peace for Ainsley, but I know that it doesn't really make it easier. You should be proud of the fact that during her time here, Ainsley was the recipient of SO MUCH LOVE. She had the best mom she could have hoped for. You guys are in my prayers.
I'm so sorry... <3
I am so sorry. Such a beautiful little lady.
I'm in shock, seeing this pop up in my blog feed. I don't even know what to say, other then I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope there is peace for you too.
Jen,
I don't know you but I feel like I do. I have followed your blog for a long time and I thoroughly enjoy your writing. I felt a connection to you because like you I had to say good-bye to one of my twins. He passed away 3 days after they were born and my little girl luckily emerged from the NICU. I feel like the words "I'm Sorry" seem so hollow because I honestly CAN'T imagine at all what you're going through. Although I've lost a child, I can't imagine saying good-bye to another one. Ainsley is beautiful and I will miss your posts with her cute little smile. I wish I could hug you in person and tell you how totally heartbroken I am for you. But know I'm thinking of you and cheering you on all the way from Utah. I wish you all the best as you prepare for your new baby girl to join your family. I pray for peace for you and much more. So So SORRY. ((HUGS))
I cannot imagine anything like what you have been through and are going through-- but I can send love.
love and love and love and love and love
My heart is with you all.
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Thinking of you and your family, and wishing you lots of strength and love.
just catching up on my google reader and saw this post. there are no words. this is awful and i send all the love and happy thoughts and prayers to your family. you don't deserve to go through any of this, especially so close to momma's day. i know you are cherishing every second, every day, every month you had with her. love and blessings from a faithful reader who doesn't comment often enough - ellie
I am so deeply sorry that Ainsley has passed away, wishing your family the best in this time, and peace to remember your beautiful girl smiling xx
I'm so, so sad for you and your family, yet so proud to have known (in an albeit miniscule way) your brave, beautiful and happy little Ainsley. Prayers to you from Texas.
She will be greatly missed by all. What a sweet baby. Full of happiness despite her struggles. Sending prayers to you and your family.
You have my deepest, deepest sympathies. I pray for peace for you and your family and your sweet little girl.
My heart hurts for you all.
Jen, I am also a long-time reader who has never commented before but had to now - I am so very sorry and heartbroken to read this news. You have been through so much. I pray that you and your family are surrounded with nothing but peace, strength and love to continue in Ainsley and Evelyn's names. I am so, so sorry.
I've been a silent follower of your blog for years and I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am. Love and hugs to your family. <3
My heart dropped when I read about the loss of your beautiful daughter. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm devastated for your family. Rest in peace, Ainsley. She hung on so long.
I am so terribly sorry. My heart aches. I am sending you lots of love and light. I'm here via the Braces Bunch.
Wow. Just wow. Was not expecting to read this. Just saw that you posted about the bubble memorial for Evelyn AND AINSLEY. My heart stopped and I just thought - NOOO - but I see that it's true. My heart truly breaks for your family and your tremendous loss. Your story has touched so many lives so deeply. I will very much miss all the pictures and updates of this sweet smiley baby!!
I am so sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I came to Ainsley's fundraiser with Tami. My thoughts and prayers.
There are no words, but there is so much love and sympathy in my heart for you and your husband and your little sweet girl. Condolences and hugs.
my heart positively stopped. I'm so sorry Jen. I'll hold Ainsley in my heart.
i am so very sorry for your loss. your sweet girl has brought many smiles to my face (and i am sure many others). i wish you and your family peace, love, and healing. rest in peace sweet, sweet baby girl.
May God walk beside you and lift you up when you are weak. As you move through these days of the unknown you are not alone. Ainsley and Evelyn are not in this earthly world but will be forever in your heart. Thank you for sharing your journey and precious Ainsley with us. I feel truly blessed to have known Ainsley through your eyes. What a soldier she was. What an inspiration.....
I am so sorry, so so sorry.
I logged onto the computer this morning and for some reason was drawn to go straight to your blog. I wasn't expecting this news at all. I usually just lurk because I don't normally have much to say but have been following your story since I believe 2008-2009. There are no word to express how truly sorry I am for the loss of your precious little girl. Sending you the biggest hug via the internet I can and praying for you. So sorry so very very very sorry.
Words simply cannot express my sorry for your loss!
I'm so sorry. My heart broke to read this post. I was rooting for you and your sweet family. Ainsley was a precious ray of sunshine, and her smile....peace for you and for her. As a mother who has lost a twin daughter in utero, and a tiny little boy much too soon, my heart knows your grief, and aches for you. I pray you all find the peace you need, and hold on to hope for your future. Prayers are with you.
I just discovered your blog tonight and just spent 3 hours reading/living through your ups and downs. I am so heartbroken for you...prayers for strength and peace surround you for today and the difficult days ahead.
Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. My heart is broken for you.
Oh Jen, I am so so sorry. Like many others, I did not see this coming. She was such a fighter that I kept expecting to hear that she was going to be able to go home soon. My heart breaks for you and your family. Having to say goodbye to another daughter is just infinitely cruel. I loved reading about her and seeing pictures of her smiley happy face.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry for Ainsley's loss. Thinking of you.
Mom to Alexander (now playing with Evelyn and Ainsley)
journeysofthezoo at hotmail dot com
I am another long-time reader who never comments . . . I don't have anything comforting to say-- I don't think there is anything comforting to say, but I wanted to thank you so much for sharing yourself with us, and for sharing Ainsley and Evelyn (and Olivia, and Mark, and this newest baby too). I have found myself thinking of all of you so much over the past few days-- wishing you peace and some small amount of comfort in the knowledge that Ainsley touched so many people-- people like me, who never met her, and those who I have shared her story with.
I would not describe myself as religious, but if we all get to imagine our own heaven (and I think we do), my version is a warm kitchen in a big, old farmhouse. It has a torn screen door and smells like baking bread. And it is humming with conversation-- there is a big, scarred wooden table and around it are all the people I love (some of them known and some only known from a great distance). And my grandfather is there and my own lost baby and all those wonderful people who have gone before-- and the door opens and everyone turns to welcome you, to hold you and feed you, and let you join in this great conversation, this warmth, this family. I imagine her there (though perhaps her own version of heaven is much more interesting than mine!) and I am sending you all of my love and a sincere thank you for sharing her with me.
Nearly fell over when I saw your post. I can't even express how sorry I am for you.... much peace and hugs to you and your family.
Oh, sweetie. I am SO, SO very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family.
I came on tonight to check on Ainsley. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face for a baby girl I never met and for her family who have suffered more pain in this life then one person (family) should. I have no words to comfort you, I do not think you can be comforted at this time, but I will pray for you. I cannot even begin to imagine what your all going through and how you will cope, but take it one second at a time. Thats it. Screw minutes....One second...and then the next. God is holding you right now even if you feel he has left you. Hang on. My heart is broken for your family. RIP sweet Ainsley.
I am so sorry. Little Ainsley, such a strong and brave little girl. Prayers go out to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She touched many lives, even those who never got to see her smile face to face, but felt her spirit, strength and love through your blog. Heaven has a special place for her. May you and your family find peace at this difficult time. Lots of love.
Oh my gosh. I haven't been blog reading for a bit and I just saw this. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Thinking of you.
I cannot even believe I'm reading this... I just stopped in on FB (rarely there) and saw a post about your upcoming delivery... decided to come visit a blog I used to frequent years ago, always one of my faves... and then see this post.
Wow. I just can't imagine what you must be going through. But you're so right - no more fighting, no more tears for that sweet, sweet baby of yours. Every pic I ever saw of her was a huge smile, both on her and my face :) She induced happiness in all who she touched (even those she never met).
Big, big hugs, and lots of prayers for Ainsley.
My breath is gone as I read this just now. Lighting a candle and remembering her always. Sending love.
You have shared so much with all of us through your blog. Thank you for sharing Ainsley's remarkable spirit with us. My heart is full of grief for you, but it is also full of awe for your resilience and humour despite what life has brought your way. I wish you great comfort from your memories of Ainsley. xx
I'm so very sorry. I picture Ainsley snuggled with her sister, sharing the hugs and kisses and love she got and catching her up on all the family. May she be at peace. My thoughts are with you, Mark, Olivia, and all those Ainsley's chubby cheeked smile touched.
I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. Rest in Peace, sweet Ainsley. Her smile will always be in our hearts.
I am just now seeing this post... praying for Ainsley and your family during this difficult time. I'm so, so terribly sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Oh Jen. I have been so behind. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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