Because it's more of a challenge than peeing on a $50 bill.

Confession: I have taken 11 pregnancy tests.  Do not believe me?  Let me show you a bunch of sticks soaked in my urine:

Do you smell something?  Is it pee?

Or desperation?

I don't know what has come over me.  One day last week?  After I got my positive?  I took a test mid-day just so I could stare at it while I did my work. 

I could have just whipped out a $50 and peed directly on it, flushed it down the toilet, and went about my day.  But what is the challenge in that?  A $50 is at least two inches wide.  Any whore off the street could pee on that.  I do fertility treatments, which means that my entire pubic area is exceptional.  I can pee on a half inch of absorbent material better than any fertile person. 

In a world where I didn't have a blog (a perfect world for you, perhaps), I would never, ever dream of smugly announcing a pregnancy this early in the game.  But this blog makes it impossible to keep a secret.  And I promise you that I'm not going around saying, "I'm pregnant!"  I am going around saying, "I tested positive but my beta isn't until Thursday." 

(I like to keep if vague.  Like, maybe an annoying person will just assume that I tested positive for Ebola and leave me alone.  I've got to work this all to my advantage.  If I play my cards right, I may be able to avoid social interaction altogether.)

Next thing you know, I'll be wearing a t-shirt that says BABY with a big arrow pointing to my belly. With crocs and pigtails, naturally.  And then I'll say really infuriating things, like, "I'm preggers!" And then I'll make you listen while I tell you about my journey. Mah journeeeeee!

In which I sprinkle my First Morning Urine

on a First Response Early Result

but NOT on my hand, because I'm no rookie newb.

Taken this morning.

 

No.  I take that back.  I can't promise you that I won't become more annoying, but I can promise you that I will not use the word journey to describe any part of fertility treatments.  I hope that makes up for my lack of posting due to soul crushing exhaustion?

I got my very first faint positive at 7 days past 5 day transfer.   Naturally, I tested at 4, 5, and 6 days past because HELLO NEUROSES GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN OLD FRIENDS!  Nothing at 4 days, and a ghost of a line at 5 and 6 - no color, but I could see where a line should be.  But also, I'm crazy pants right now so there is, like, a 97% chance I made it all up in my mind.  But if I was to ever wax nostalgic about mah journeeeeeee I might make mention of it.

First positive test after FET...
IVF Speak: 7 Days Past 5 Day Transfer

Fertile People Speak: 12 Days Past Ovulation

Right now, I just need my beta.  And the follow-up beta.  And the heartbeat to show up on the ultrasound.  Then I can maybe, possibly think that something as easy as the FET actually worked for me.  And the due date, based on the transfer day, is the same as my due date was with Olivia (based on her transfer date).  Deja vu all over again, eh?

Keep all crossables crossed for my Thursday beta, if you don't mind??

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One Year Ago: Need Sleep Advice
Two Years Ago: So Much To Report To The Internet!