Resolved...ish

So it is January 3... on a scale of 1 to Claw Your Eyes Out, how sick are you of hearing everyone's resolutions?  Oh, you're about at Roll Your Eyes and Flip Off Your Computer?  I get that a lot anyway so I'll just tell you my resolutions like one of those annoying people who doesn't pick up on your hint that you do not care about whatever they are saying.

1. Blog at least twice per week.

Isn't that splendid? Since technically I am contractually obligated to blog at least once a week, this one seems like a good idea. I mean, sure, I'm pitiful enough that I must've shown up on the "Pitiful, Do Not Yell At" list (thanks, if that's true...I am pretty pitiful, you should see my facial hair because I haven't bleached it in MONTHS!!!! and I should be bleaching it new but I'm writing instead, which is the definition of dedication) but I really need to write more before my blog grows over. Like an ear piercing or a 90 year old vagina.

I have ideas for blogs all the time, but really they are fleeting thoughts that are more suited for Twitter. And I don't like Twitter because I'm old and crotchety and Don't Get It.

For example, here is one of my fleeting thoughts not long enough for a blog:

If you haven't already, you need to immediately read Tina Fey's book, Bossypants. Unless you are offended by the phrase, "Go suck a bag of dicks." In which case, you probably should immediately read something else.

But whatever.  I'm going to blog at least twice a week until I don't feel like it anymore, and then I'll just walk around all the time stressed about how I should be writing twice a week but instead of writing I'll just eat a box piece of chocolate and stare at the TV for hours.

2. Try at least two new recipes per month.

I tried to do one new recipe a week in 2009 (I think...who knows, I don't even know what I was doing 3 hours ago) and failed.  One a week is too much.  I think I can swing two per month, which would be one per grocery shopping trip. 

Hey!  Perhaps I can bore you with remedial recipes I try.  See?  I can meet my goals by cheating and then acting like I'm very accomplished.  It's all about setting the bar really low.  Last year I'm pretty sure I resolved to floss more but then I just had to get like 6 cavities filled and they were all, "Do you floss daily?" and I was all, "I aspire to be a daily flosser" and they were all, "huh."

Dentists: hard to amuse, apparently.

3. Be more serious about my Dave Ramsey budgeting.

Oh Christmas, you spendy little devil you.

I waited until the last minute to Christmas shop this year.  Usually I'm done by Black Friday and that's really when I started.  And I got some really great deals on Black Friday but ended up spending more on everything else because I couldn't shop deals.  Suck city.  So I wasn't a success at saving in December.

I'm good about the debt snowball, but the only debt we have is our house and my student loan.  So those will both take forevah to pay off.  The part I'd like to be more serious about is using cash.  I never never never use cash. 

I have also never done his budget down to zero dollars.  I just pay the bills, save the amount I want to save/pay toward my debt, and anything left over the day of the next pay goes directly to whatever I'm paying.  So there is definitely some waste there because I know that there will always be hundreds of dollars in the checking account that are spendable.  I think that if I budgeted specific amounts for treats for Olivia, dining out, entertainment, and clothes shopping, I could make our money work way harder.

And then I'll pay off my house and my student loan and I will spend all of my money at The Mall, Forever and Ever, Amen.

4. Make monthly goals.

I do this every year.  At the beginning of each month, I try to come up with 2-4 small goals for the month.  For January it is:

- Clean out Ainsley's closet and sell all of the stuff we bought/received when we thought we were having twins.

- Consign or sell on ebay anything kid/baby-related that I don't absolutely love or need and put that money toward the student loan.

- Clean out the spare room closet to prepare for the new baby HOLY SHIT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A NEW BABY IN SIX SHORT MONTHS. 

These goals can be...whatever.  One month last year I resolved to be more nice.  That's how horrible of a person I really am.  I have to resolve to be nice.  Pretty sure that anyone who knows me in real life would attest to my failure at being nice as I am perpetually bitchy.


So anyway.  Hello.  Resolutions.  Etc.  Lots of stuff going on but I have to write at least twice per week so let me just spread out the minutia of my life in a series of uninteresting posts for your reading pleasure.  You?  Are welcome.